...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
