its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
