So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
