i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
