you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
