My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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