I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
