Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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