Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
