I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
In America we eat man semen.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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