Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
