This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
