I hate all girls vehemently.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
