In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
