I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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