I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
what day is it and did you see me today?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
