I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
