The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
