??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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