i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
smell my finger.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
