His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
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