Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
