He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
