I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
