help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
