Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize