So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
