She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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