Me. At least after what I've been through.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
