This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
