she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
farters have to be the big spoon...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
