'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
