so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
