I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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