i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
