Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Let's paint friendship bongs
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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