he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
