sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
