I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
