Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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