margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
