worst night to have a conscience
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
