the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Let's get the cat blown out
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
