Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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