I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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