Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
