Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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