omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You're earring is so big in my mouth
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize