I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Is Oprah even human
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
