You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
how can u be prego again
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
