The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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