I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize