Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
