My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
