he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
