so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
