I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
