Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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