he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
