Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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