lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
