THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
